sumthing bad happened...sumthing VERY bad happened....it is so horrible i cannot bear to even think about it...and when i do,it burns and licks and eats me up from the inside....too much for me to bear...constantly reminded of it....it makes me sick to the gut...Y MUZ EVERYONE HARP ON IT????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!juz live ur own life and let me get on with my own, pathetic life....haf forgotten how to smile....the feeling of dread and depression looms over me lyk an omnimous dark cloud.....but this cloud seems to be pressing on me...choking me....struggling to breathe.....i cant stand it anymore......y did so many BAD things hape in the past week??!!!Y is "god" if there IS one...making my life so difficult???!!!!!and dun even think about telling me it is a challenge....or sum test or sumthing lyk that....it is utter RUBBISH....cum ON....when sumthing good happens "god blesses u" and u thank him on bended knee...when sunthing bad happens "god is giving u a test"....i seriously dun mean to insult other ppl's religion...but its seriously getting on my nerves....doesn't it occur to u that it may be HIS FAULT that sumthing hapened to u???lyk...he was bz looking after sumthing else and left u to rot in misery.....are we SURE that it is ALWAES our fault that sumthing bad happens to us.....if he really is the creator of all things...y did he create those sins??y did he create every little foul thing on earth????y did he create satan???!!!and i am really sorri if i offended anyone with these...seriously....its juz that i hate ppl hu lyk to persuade ppl to convert...or join any religions...and yah..i am oso very sorri if i offended the holy spirit or sumthing...i just dun see the justice in it all.....i studied....though not well...but enough to help me get average or slightly above average marks.....not disgustingly low ones.....my heart is juz so broken....shattered into millions of pieces lyk glass breaking on the floor....i am feeling very low now....lowest i haf ever felt in my entire LIFE.........my spirits and moral and every other thing i hold in great esteem in drooping lyk a wilted flower....i think i had had enuff....i haf to buck up for all the rest of my life....haf to work VERY HARD....and i mean it...shall start tomolo......and i shall TRY my best to do VERY MUCH better next time.....i MUST water those hopelessly wilted flowers and make sure the bloom more beautifully lyk ever b4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thats wat i HOPE to achieve.,......not the end product i will haf at the end of my life....