i've heard from somewhere that its better to do sumthing to express your emotions rather than keeping it all to yourself. i don't know if it works, but here's a shot.

every time i look at the clock or hear the time for the past 2 days, i feel a sudden pang of sorts. like a kinda kick to the stomach, or the heart, or some internal organ of some kind. and then i'll grow silent and uninterested. in other words, depressed. until something happens which brings my mind off things. which is quite often. either my nephew will do something adorable as always, or i'll see something nice that i want to buy, or maybe even seeing how other people are smiling. and as i type this, i hear the constant tick-tock tick-tock of my clock. its asking to be smashed i tell you. when the clock struck 12 last night, i knew i was in for a bad day. true enough. the timetable for my class came up. it was pure hell. HELL. unfair, HELL. i was so agitated by my messed up timetable while other people can go home at 1230pm that the terrible cough i was recovering from returned instantaneously. you may be thinking, terence is exaggerating. i cant do much to change your mind if thats how you think, but its true. and by then i was already getting increasingly depressed because i have to get on a plane back to singapore (shithole) in a few hours. after surpressing my feelings and the cough, i went to bed for the last time in my naturally cold home. when i woke up, it was already 10.

10 am. a couple more hours left. naturally, depressed. in the toilet cleaning up, walking to get water, walking back to hug my baby pillow for the last time, changing. then i went down for breakfast with my aunt for the last time this year. that was fun. took my mind off things. shopping at the park n shop superstore also helped. a lot. but of course, that was shortlived. got bitten by 2 mosquitoes. and that got me extremely annoyed. started to complain nonstop, starting to get very very snappy. so we went down to get a cab. not happy. quiet i was. kept stoning while we waited for the taxi. taxi drivers in hongkong are entertaining. so the trip to airport was ok. and so we checked in and as usual, we were all nervous cuz we exceeded the limit again. but we din get charged. and after checkin, we went to find food. but the places were too crowded. so we walked all the way back to the departure hall. and thats when it started to get worse. i felt more and more heavy as i crossed the customs. and all the time i was using every single ridiculous excuse to miss the flight and get back out. that didnt happen of course. we shopped for the tiniest while inside the airport before going on the plane, where we actually continued shopping. i bought an exclusive disney necklace and sis bought makeup. and then the plane took me back to shithole.

now....... this is when i start to rave about and criticise every single nitty gritty detail. first victim, the airconditioning. the moment i stepped out the plane i got hit by the freaking wall of humid HOT air. in my coat and when i am carrying a real freaking heavy bag. make that TWO BAGS. so i was bitching to my sister all the way from the plane to the area where you enter the gates about the absolutely pathetic ventilation and substrandard airconditioning units. then we walked pass a policeman who was looking at a phone hanging down on his neck with a strap. when i saw him i started to bitch about him as well. and after we got to the toilet, i put down everything and went to.. pee. lousy shitholes. cant even flush the toilet. its automatic AND manual mechanisms to flush the toilet bowl all died. so i went out and wash my hands. i tried to get the soap, which was those pretend to be high tech automatic censor dispensers. tried both dispencers 5 times each. no freaking response. its full of soap but none is coming out. until the last time on the second dispenser did i get the soap. so naturally my sis was outside waiting and asking why i'm so late cuz she thought i got bashed up for criticising the AC units and the policeman. so i told her that i was trying my best to get soap and to flush the toilet in my obviously annoyed and short tempered tone and i also said what dismal fate await some people if i DID get bashed up. so then we started walking to the arrival thing. and we used the travellators... which were moving so slowly i could propably outstrip it by walking by myself instead. and the lighting. why do they have to use such an ugly pinkish orange colour lighting? its making the plants turn yellowish and its making my eyes feel uncomfortable. naturally everything i said so far i was bitching to my sister about it. she was trying to get me to shut up.

so. ALL that aside. i said WAY before i reached singapore that we should use the customs officers intead of that pathetic automated gateway with its utterly primival 20 million years old computer monitor because i trust the people more than the lousy machines which requirED 2 people to manage it last year. (i dont think the people fully grasp the meaning of... AUTOMATED) ANYWAYS, the queue was way too long for comfort, so i decided to take that risk... and use the automated path. firstly, the technology stinks. WAY too bulky. who uses the bloody passport page for scanning. RIDICULOUS. you wanna go digital go all the way dudes... dont waste money on amateur technologies. and for heaven's sakes get an flast screen monitor at least and do away with the ridiculous 20 million year old computer box. its.. OUTDATED. ok. enough of that. i crossed the first part of the barrier easily enough... (the waiting time for the machine to process is freaking way too long.) so then comes the fingerprint part. it took my fingerprint three freaking times. "place higher" "place to the right" "place higher, press lighter" all sorts of freaking WEIRD instructions plus TERRIBLE graphics. how do you expect a person to follow ur instructions if the demonstration animation on the screen is UTTERLY different from the scanner that you are using? the fingerprint reading device is so damn BIG. WHAT FOR! maybe i'm a lousy little person, but forgive me if i have never seen a person with a normal right thumb about 1.5 inches in width. so it GAVE UP and told me to go see the customs duty officer or sumthing. so i waited and expected the freaking barrier to MOVE ASIDE so i can GO SEE THE OFFICER. but no. i just stood there, and waited and looked like a right retard turning here and there trying to see which bloody gate is gonna open. coz i'm trapped in the middle. so finally, the front gate decided to open, and i went to look for some officer in the desk in front. i dunno if i remember WRONGLY... but erm... the label which is HUGE and lit up... reads sumthing DIFFERENT from... "Customs Duty Officer" which the computer told me to go to. so PLEASE... get your story straight. its freaking confusing. so ok... i chose the right officer to talk to... and i gave him my passport. he looked at it. and gave it back to me... and walked away. just like that. kinda like when you show the library staff a reference slip, they read it, and walk off to find the book for you. so i was left standing there, like an idiot, ONCE AGAIN. cuz i din know if he was checking up on sumthing, or needed to get some machine, or wanted me to follow him to another desk with a computer, or.... that i can GO. and oh yes.. he walked away and enterred a conversation with 2 other staff members. wow. nice service. so... i walked to them and asked the lady officer if i can go or not. and she said yes. so i went. so.. if i remember his name right, MR PATRICK LIM. PLEASE. PLEASE improve on your work attitude and standard. because the kind of stuff i went through at the singapore airport today SERIOUSLY raised my curiousity as to how the hell did singapore get the top airport award. isit goodwill of the organisers? or isit a misjudgement on the part of voters? i dunno. but it sure as HELL is NOT 1) the aesthetic appeal and design of the airport NOR 2) the staff service standards and 3) the maintenence of the amenities.

and FINALLY. the taxi fare hikes. absolute madness. ridiculous, PREPOSTEROUS increase in price. my. GOD. and did i even mention the WEATHER! freaking SWELTERING hot. oh yes... and school starts tomorrow. OH JOY! i want my home, my family, and my leisurely times back. so bad. sighssssssssss. fat chance terence. only in your dreams. oh yes... and about 3.5 hours ago, people were wishing me happy new year. i've got one last question. What is so wonderfully happy about the new year?