i think i've done more than my share of sulking around these 2 days. i havent been normal, per se, for the past 2 days. the fatigue, the stress, the difficulty in concentrating and most major issue concerning.... my emotions. sure i try to just, chill and take it easy cuz its really no one's fault. my timetable is as terrible as hell. how i can manage to extrapolate everything and force myself to become miserable i will never know. but i did cuz i probably hoped that everything would feel better if i can just cry out. try as i might, the tears just wont spill out. frustrating isnt it?

i think that it is absolutely amazing, how much effect such a minute gesture affects me. if i bothered to check my mail earlier today, i might have spared myself a shitload of depression. cuz with depression comes fatigue. i have no idea why those 2 are always coupled together for me. when i am feeling really down, i will feel very very tired and want to just fall asleep. i guess its my subconcious way of dealing with such things. to just sleep and settle everything in my dreams...... i'm quite sure i dreamt of some stuff in my 2 naps today.... but i dont really have much recollection about them. all i know is that it is somehow related to how terrible i have been feeling.

but i digress. just a few minutes ago, i signed on to MSN and finally decided to check what those mail are about. haha. of course, i fully expected stupid junk mail from MSN or facebook regarding some applications that i have been invited to use. or school stuff like mazarin programmes and the likes. true enough, out of the 3 mails, 2 of them were about school things. one is a mazarin letter about some survey which i am not interested in and the other one was from science souncil. now those are, well let's just say that i dont really care a lot about them. but the third mail. now that's a different story altogether.

"You have received a me..." was the title. when i saw it, my heart skipped a beat, then started racing. the hope i tell you, its unbelievable how great the impact was on me. and i havent even SEEN anything yet. just the title. and when i opened the message... i smiled immediately. really smiled for the first time in 2 days................. finally.

its incredible. my spirits lifted. the email may have been very short. a few words. but the effect these words have, astounding. i'm just glad that these words existed at all.

glad? make that exultant............... =D

AlX