i'm miserable. i'm aching absolutely everywhere... my arms, chest, back, thighs. gosh. it hurts to even walk. and its especially shitty when i need to walk on stairs.... my goodness.

URGH. this SUCKS. i HATE IT. i HATE SCHOOL.

let me try to provide balance... today's activity was surprisingly.. fun-er than yesterday's. though it looks freaking impossible to do, we all managed to win cuz we worked with other people. feel kinda accomplished. but that's all.

honestly think its quite..... lame; to tell you the truth. its kinda obvious that i dont wanna be there in the first place especially since its on a weekend and there is a bio test just round the corner. cant believe i screwed my entire weekend up just for this. now i have to find a time for tuition make up. damn it. my week is FREAKING packed. how on earth am i supposed to slot in tuition before next saturday?! URGH. i hate this!!!!!!! argh. ok i think i said that before.. MANY MANY times. but my TIMETABLE SUCKS TO HELL.

which reminds me of something EXTREMELY terrifying. HOW the HELL am i supposed to go for PE TOMORROW when it feels like i got KICKED everywhere simultaneously when i MOVE? another thing, ALL THOSE STAIRS. up and down those stupid stairs feels like bloody MURDER. MY GOODNESS! what on earth am i gonna do! i am DEFINITELY in NO condition to do PE right now. i can rub myself with medicated oil or heat rub non stop until tomorrow and i bet i will STILL feel JUST as terrible. ARGH!!!!!

sighs. i give up. i'm gonna stop complaining about it. no. let me rephrase that. i'm gonna try my BEST to NOT complain about it anymore. i've HAD IT with being so angry and upset and annoyed at the same thing. its tiring and pointless. in other words, its like NS. a waste of time, a waste of energy and thus a waste of resources. so, why the HELL should i even bother about it...

.

and now, i'm feeling depressed. sighs. i feel so, amazingly depressed. because once again, the withdrawal symptoms are kickin in. this time, its made a hell of a lot worse, because there were so many, so many oppurtunities and chances missed. every. single. day. i am unable to do what will make me truly happy. and the thing that gets me, is that i'm constantly reminding myself of all those misses. i feel so, dejected. why does life want to play this prank on me? its not funny. no one's laughing. its so cruel. so harsh. seperating me from what i want. and need....

AlX