i like fridays. even though i reach home at about 9pm, and went to school at 7am. but i'll talk about this later. i'm feeling extremely serene right now. even though my mom is blasting the TV outside and the weather is not exactly perfect. serene. in fact, there are moments when i will catch myself smiling. to myself. not grinning. just a small smile. but a genuine one. why is that? i wont say it here. nor anywhere for that matter. its my little secret.

anyway, it all started when i suddenly went to look at some emotive pictures. Almost. Dream. so warm. tender. soft. sweet. peaceful. happy... i'm just wondering how it would feel like when i can finally experience physically, what the pictures are portraying. there is definitely a possibility that that day will come. its only a matter of time. i can already imagine it. in fact, i think about it everyday. when my mind is at peace, these images will pop into my mind's eye... as i slowly drift into my dreams. there, everything i ever thought about comes to live. it all seems so real, i can practically feel it. Almost feel it.... if only it could be like that. in reality.

wow. i took a break from typing this post. for, 7 hours. last night at 12 sumthin i was typing this, before i got too tired and slept right next to the computer. next thing i knew, the sun rose and its saturday morning. crap, i need to shower soon. only showered right after i came back home... thank god i did that. oook... anyways...... so i slept. i dreamt of this. no surprises there. but just before i woke up, it turned into the most horrible reflection of my fears. i forgot how exactly did it happen or what words were used but i remember the intention of those words. and i know i never ever want this to happen. please dont let it happen. i dont know how i can handle it. but still, i refuse to allow this to depress me, coz its not often that i feel so content and at peace.

now let us talk about school. school, was extra horrid today, because i can hardly stay awake in the first few hours on the day. i went to school, and while i was walking across the field, i actually slipped in and out of sleep.

like right now. GOSH. i must be REALLY tired. i've been typing this post for about 12 hours and i'm still not done. why? because.... genius me decided to fall asleep in front of the computer again!!!!! and when i woke up, its 11am! WOOHOO. so yeah. i just showered. MAN i feel SOSOSO much better. bloody hell, i've got this stupid bruise on my lip. ahhhh... hurts and its so... ugly! grrrrr (i'm vain i know.) ANYWAY, i was talking about school before mr sandman pulled me back to sleep. not that i'm complaining.. lol. so, school. i was practically sleepwalking through my entire morning until after math lecture. then i knew i had to get a quick fix. i.e: TEA. tea is like a MIRACLE worker. i actually stayed awake through bio tutorial, lecture and then of course i needed to get a period of sleep in the sick bay. haha. real sleep can never be substituted. so that lasted me all the way till 3 (through econs tutorial which is a GREAT achievement considering the sleepiness that day) and even lasted till SIX THIRTY! when i went to RJ for my wonderful BIO H3. SAD thing is.... that was ravi's last lecture :( he's such a great lecturer. i dunno if the next person will be as good or not. i HOPE i wont fall asleep. scary.... yes. its dependent on the teacher as well. lol. anyway, he's a lil contradicting towards the end of the lecture, about singapore's education system and not being complacent about the knowledge. i agree with the latter but he aint practicing what he preach.. lol. no offense. its funny though. anyways, so kengsheng and i walked to J8 as always and i went to eat at KFC! ahahahaha... i dunno if i should try the next fast food outlet next week or just go back to my macdonalds... LOL. anything still beats the crap outta food junction. maybe i'll have pastamania or sumthin. (:

moving on, ks din join me cuz he is gonna eat at home. so i just had a quick dinner and went off. i tried the MRT again to compare if the bus or the subway is faster. i think they're about the same, so i'mma take the subway from now onwards cuz i can study on the train but not on the bus. lol. WELL, that can only happen, if i DO NOT fall asleep on the train. yeah. that is of utmost importance! hehex.

ok. enough blabber. i gotta go out now, then to tuition (oh the joy.......). ahh..... i cant wait till i get to do the thing i want to do again, though lunch with stephhie they all may cut short the time, i hope i wont miss the once a week oppurtunity..... cuz its only when i'm doing that thing, that i can experience a semblance of what that is portrayed in those pictures....