A few things I want to talk about on this early Monday morning:

1. What is happening to me? I don't care. But this has got to stop, and it WILL stop. RIGHT NOW. That is my promise to myself. Enough. That is Enough.
2. I don't know why, but I feel like doing something I did on Wednesday. I feel like I did not do myself justice then. I was shocked that it even happened, but I could do nothing to stop it. Here I thought I could do a "Behind These Hazel Eyes". I was wrong.
3. I want that. I need that. I want to live my dreams. I want to drown in my thoughts. Most of all, I want my dreams and thoughts to become reality. To embrace it and everything it brings - the good and the bad. It's a secret I'll never tell - because I know that many, if not everyone I know will tell me it's ridiculous, naiive and completely insane, and that hurts. But what really gets me is that burning question inside, will it ever ... ?

I have decided. Issue no. 1 will be resolved right now. Not tomorrow, not later on, NOW. As for the other 2... I can't seem to settle... Dear God, in this time of need I turn to you for guidance. Please give me the strength and wisdom I need to get through this. Amen.

on a lighter note, i was checking out the MTV billboard for top 20 singles and decided to search for a video for "One Step At A Time" by Jordin Sparks. i think it's quite a nice song. seems to be offering some good advice. take one step at a time, there's no need to rush. it's like learning to fly, or falling in love. it's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen. one step at a time.