While I was studying, this strange memory popped up in my mind. A certain piece of black construction paper. A memory written in pencil. Black on black - hidden. But when you hold it in an angle, the message glimmers in the light. I don't remember what I was feeling then... but I want to immortalise it just in case I throw the paper away...

It seems like a black hole has appeared in my heart, consuming me from the inside. Mercilessly. Nothing can escape it. All my feelings spiralling uncontrollably, painfully down. Down into oblivion, down the bottomless pit. These unwelcomed, unexpected, unwanted fields of immense gravity is growing with more emotions it consumes; destroys. It's origin? Like what happens to an object when it falls into its heart. Like the creation of the pyramids, the Sphinx. Unknown, mysterios, suspicious. Yet somehow intriguing, inviting, pulling me into its deadly grasp and eventually... killing me.

This was my story on 12th June, 2005. I said that I am slowly losing my ability to feel. I'm emotionless, and I had no idea why. I just knew I had to survive in this unfeeling world.

Wow. I think I had some serious issues back then. I was in depression or something. Maybe it had something to do with... some things I had to deal with in secondary school? Like... hmmm... Honestly, I don't really know but I have a feeling it's something to do with something in secondary school. But no... I was wrong. I did not lose my ability to feel. Though sometimes I wish I had. Because it hurts knowing, but not having. Sometimes it just sucks, Time, Timing. However, if I can't feel anymore, I would be missing out on all the good things too won't I? Things which are too beautiful, too magical to miss... it easily makes the pain bearable......

- it's in your eyes (words), where i find peace.