i freaking love jesse mccartney. lol. ok. he's a lil teeny bopper but his new songs are more hip and mature! haha. ok. i just had to say that. oh oh oh oh oh. and ALSO, i HAVE to proclaim and BLAIR IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!!!!! hahaha. i LOVE her. LOOOVVEEEEEEEEEE BLAIR! <3

ok i shall stop before S or jump starts saying i'm going crraazzyyyy over her again. *i want you and ur soul... beautiful soul.. yeahhhhh* yes. this post is so going to be interupted with random jesse lyrics. ok.... maybe not....

sighs. sorry i'm a little incoherent and INSANE when i'm typing the stuff above this line. which should be understandable considering that it is currently 4.11am and i really really should NOT be awake? damn even I'M beginning to get sick of sleeping at freaky hours. now there's a surprise.... let me just calm down for a while so i can blog about what i really wanna blog about........

i feel like i'm addicted to something. some may call it a bad habit or hormonal imbalance. but i have this strange mindset that i am addicted to staying up late. what a weird thing to be addicted to huh? but i suppose it's better than being addicted to worse vices like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, gambling and things involving "adult" entertainment (gasp!). i just like staying up late for some reason. i feel like there's just something very calming and soothing about the witching hours. a sense of... serenity and peace. because the entire world is asleep. the roads are quiet, the birds are roosting, the hustle and bustle of the city hushed.

but that's probably just half the reason. i feel like there is this urge, like a desire to stay up late. because...........................

it accelerates my hearbeat. i feel a rush of heat - comfortable warmth that seems to radiate from me. it heightens my senses. i notice the stunning beauty of the palette of colours when the first rays of golden sunlight appear and slowly turns the colour of the sky from velvety black, to shades of violet, changing slowly to fiery red and gold and finally settling in that stunning shade of blue. i feel the occasional breath of cooling morning air coming through my window. my fingertips tingle... more sensitive to the texture of my sheets. and at the same time, it makes me light-headed. puts my mind... my heart at peace. so calming. and almost always allows me to just drift off to blissful sleep. and that's exactly what will usually happen as the sun rises. i fall asleep cuddling my pillow like a small boy would a teddy bear.

tell me. how can i bear to sleep early even if i am able to?

- there are twice as many stars in the sky.