yesterday was quite a tiring day. went out for almost half a day with XJ to raffles city and suntec and esplanade. haha. i was staging my... "anti-prom" as fabian put it. yup. i always knew i made the right choice not throwing money of horrid food and wasting time. though i actually wanted to meet some people at their post prom but thanks to their dilly-dallying.... i wasted almost an hour waiting for them and decided that i should just go home and let XJ go home too cuz he had things to rush for HIS prom. lol. just found out that they FINALLY arrived at esplanade around midnight. i was HOME by that time. well, too bad i guess....

today... i fell asleep at about 3.30am. i woke up at 3.30pm. sighs. how weird is that. watched shows till it was dinner time and ate..... instant noodles. wow. how freaking pathetic is that. lol. sighs... after dinner i went back to my room and went on the computer and realized how lonely i was. xj is at prom... ian is in europe STILL... fabian, my mom and my sis are out. and i'm home alone. i gotta say, having the house to myself was quiet peaceful though. watching as the entire house is plunged into darkness as the sun sets. the only light coming from the TV screen. it's been a while since i sat down and watched so much television. NO. not LOCAL television... VCDs... but still, i felt quite alone... and i dont think i mean that in a good way. it's quite annoying really... i kinda not wanna be alone... but at the same time i dont feel like being in the company of anyone else. except...

really wished for the real thing at that moment. well, i wish for it every moment, but particularly that moment in time. feeling it's warmth. so i ended up cuddling my pillow while i rest on my bed.... with my computer. typing away... watching orange lights flash... somehow... feeling better. it's like... magic. nah. that's just technology..............

- everytime i look at you i catch my breath.