i got my SIM card and iPod back!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY! hahaha. finally it has made it's way from hong kong to singapore. hehehe. soo, i'm officially contactable again! thanks to XJ and fab for lending me their phone and sticking with me these few days when we went out coz i'm phoneless... haha.

the paragraph above was written a few days ago. i never managed to finish the post probably because i didn't know what else to say. but last night i had a dream. i had several dreams actually but one of them has to do with completing this post. so here i am completing the post! see, dreams can come true! hahaha. if only that is applicable to the other dream where i gambled 500 bucks at the casino and won $10000. i dont even remember what game i was playing, just that i suddenly knew that i won and that i had money to go and shop more at hongkong. hahaha.

yesterday, i went out with my besties again. fabian is having a damn cool "birthday week bonanza" to put it in his words. the thing is, it's hard to believe that i'm only back for a week. landing in singapore on the plane seemed like aeons ago... prob beacuse time seems to just creeeeeppppp by slowly here from the lack of things to do. but whatever, anyway, after everyone left for home and fab and i just hung out at borders and talked. discoveries were made... and i found someone i can confide in. but secrets will remain secret. who knows what would happen if it was leaked to everyone. i cant and i dont even want to imagine.

maybe i was hoping he would react in the way i thought he would. but he is right, saying it makes it more real. i think it's time i stopped running away from the reality. fantasies are well and good. but i will now draw the line between the two. though it is hard, i will do it. to protect myself from the pain. as my sister said, "if you can't touch it, it's not real." so i guess until i can truly touch it, i must expel it to the surface, i must bubble wrap my heart. because the deeper it goes, the riskier it gets, the more vulnerable i become and worst of all, the more painful it is. this is my creed.

- don't wish, don't start; wishing only wounds the heart.