that dreaded day is coming closer with each passing second. i realized, only now, that i have never really said anything about my thoughts of graduating from high school. well, junior college. somehow when it's time to do something i dread so much, i am finally able to reflect on my life in school for the past four years. the reason why i'm still up at 4.30am in the morning is not primarily because of this. but after watching high school musical 3 the second time... it kinda sparked something in me. i know for a fact that i have been... not a perfect friend to the people i met there. in fact if i were my friends there i would think of me as more of a "frienemy". but regardless of my attitude or behaviour towards them... amanda, allister, junping, stephanie, melissa and woonyee. they've played an important part in shaping my life, or me... as a person. well, if any of them are reading this, i want to dedicate this song, "For Good" to you guys.

now for the real reason why i'm staying up late... again. no... sadly it has nothing to do with anything that is enjoyable. thinking of what is to come... and it's consequences... it hurts. it's excruciating. i cant stop thinking about it. but every time i think about it, it feels like my heart is being squeezed... and it's killing me keeping it in. but somehow i just cant let it go... i cant just give in to my emotions and let it all out. with the SATs looming right around the corner this is not a good time to have a such a meltdown. i need to do my best for that test... i must. and i know a way to ease my pain... i need to make things clearer... i need to communicate this... and i hope i can get to do that.. very, very, very soon. please.......

- tears shed in the night.