i just got my "amazing" posting today. i'm a auto-tech-in-training. yippee. of all the things in the bloody army i have to become the grease monkey. urgh. how blue-collared. no offense to them of course but i'll much rather be a medic or a clerk. but that's totally out of my hands now isnt it. unfortunately for them, i'm currently on a course of vitamin A pills which is making me quite irritable during the day and apparently, it's an auto out of course ticket. i dunno when i'll go see the MO about this... i think i'll go on monday and see what they shoved me into first before deciding when. whatever it is.... i just wish i get a stay out vocation. that's actually all that i want... not being covered in grease and grime is definitely a plus though. urgh.... oook... i'm going to go into camp next week with as open a mind as i can and take things in stride. yes. goodness knows what on earth is going to happen now....... the lack of transparency is just.. astounding.

just to make my headache throb, there seems to be a joyous occasion somewhere down across the road. someone is throwing a nice huge birthday bash and everyone's rowdy and they all sound drunk. you must be thinking... you live on the 23rd storey.. how the eff do you know how they sound like? because that bunch of annoying clowns have been shouting and screaming birthday songs and cheering and jeering and being total idiots since midnight. it's like.. Shut the eff up and Grow up! arent you supposed to be a year older already?! urgh...... normally i wouldnt be this pissy... but my god my head is throbbing everytime they make a sound.

and then there is another reason why i'm feeling rather frustrated. ok... fine not "rather" frustrated VERY frustrated... i really shouldnt be waiting around like a total idiot and just... lay off and CHILL. oh yes... and i'm so proud of myself for refusing to go into that night time scene again. not healthy. detox. yes. good job. but now i'm bored and i dont know what to do. just feel like eating all day but that's just plain unwise. WOW my life is unfulfilling. why am i not going out and doing the things that i am SUPPOSED to do? like... get a freaking JOB. hmmmmmmmm.... terence you're crazy. get a life. or.... get... NEVERMIND.....

- how do you, how do you sleep.