this is starting to feel like an extremely morbid version of something called "school". i've been just as sleepy as all those times i was in whatever lectures and classes. it was such a weird feeling to be constantly on the verge of collapsing on the floor and snoring in that far away place. thank god there isnt much to do today or i'll really be missing out on a lot of things cuz i was practically dozing off every chance i can... even for just a few minutes. it's exactly like in econs lecture again except it's freezing, i have hardly any hair, and it's in a place that is a cross between prison and school. i may sound like i'm complaining now, but really i'm not. cuz i know i will resent it and whine like a little boy when things start getting crazy.

sighs... i think i should count myself fortunate to be there and not in some other places where you cant go home everyday... to your comfortable familiar bed... to comfortable hot water baths and of course... to your own computer where everything is accessible to you. but the commuting really sucks balls. especially since i'm nowhere near a train station, and buses are such unpredictable mode of transport... i basically have to wake up earlier than people do in tekong and catch the first bus and pray HARD that i am on time for training. so i suppose i should really sleep real early nowadays as well... but it's kinda hard to do that for certain reasons... hmmm i dunno... oh well, there may be other reasons why that place is a good place to be too.... though my future is kinda uncertain at the moment.

ok so i guess it's my own fault why i am so so tired during the day... it's pretty hard to survive on 5 hours of sleep... i did that in school and it was not good at all. but still.... time is such a precious commodity. i can only do so many things in those short few hours. i can only do what i want in that short period of time after dinner. naturally, i'll have to treasure every minute of that time right?

- if i can't have you, then i don't want anyone.