i've recently been listening to a lot of songs that i don't usually listen to. suddenly i find those high energy, powerfully rhythmic songs rather energising. forces me to become rather hyper on just a few hours of sleep so i can do my work in camp. of course there is the side effect of periods of extreme fatigue when i cant keep my eyes open... but it's still nice to get an energy boost when you need it.

talking about music, i've also been listening to kelly clarkson's new album, "All I Ever Wanted"! I gotta say.... it's quite a good album. ESPECIALLY compared to the previous one. now i'm just waiting for XJ to buy it so i can borrow and rip it! MUAHAHAHAHA.. :P i think i like 8-9 out of the 16 songs... that's saying something. hehe.. so hurry XJ!!!! me wants to borrow!!! hahaha.. but he's a poor thing anyways... stuck on hell island every week... basically means there's no chance for him to go buy it.. NEVERMIND!!! GOOD FRIDAY IS COMING! yay!!!!! public holiday means NO ARMY!!!!!! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! *prances around the room in circles like an idiot*

another thing that's awesome about this year's good friday..... it's IAN'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha... as that bitchy person in devil wears prada says.. "i plan my whole year around this".. and my WONDERFUL wonderful meryl streep aka miranda priestly said... with that forced socialize-mode smile "we're so glad... that.. you do!" ahhahahahahahahahaha oh my god what on earth is wrong with me today why am i so crazy... CONTROL... yes... anyways.. what i'm trying to say is.... i'm looking forward to it!!! i think it'll make being the ONLY clerk in the office for most of this week much more bearable. :D

ok... after a nice long nap, i have finally calmed down enough to think. i'm in a kind of internal conflict over something right now. every now and then something pops into my head... and every other moment something else materializes. if i were to be ethical, i would be forced to make a certain choice. but i believe i'm in a unique situation here. besides, terence has a lack of moral values anyways. :P! so i cant and i wont choose. because thoughts in my head will remain thoughts in my head unless something happens. but something has not. sighs. i guess i just dont have the courage to do anything about it. and i also finally understand the reason why so many others dont do certain things. because everyone is fearful. both of the consequences. and of themselves.

it's just strange how i can remember some things so well... esp in the night.

- i'm feeling your vibe and i'm riding high, it's exotic and i want you.