i just spent a rather substantial amount of money not too long ago on a pair of jeans which was a result of complete impulse spending. i was in shock for a pretty long time as i walked around with the plastic bag swinging around in my hand. i've actually never seen the figures in my bank account slide down so quickly before. it was QUITE scary. so that just jolted me back to my pathetic financial situation and how i have a consistent budget deficit. and my sister helped too by scolding me over the phone asking me what the HELL is wrong with me. so after that i felt compelled to make up for my serious lapse in judgement... and my lack of self control when i WANT TO SHOP by finally taking action and got a tutoring job! FINALLY....... lol.... otherwise it would really be.... May Day!
May............ what a month. i got my first job.... i've been falling ill cuz of the god damned WEIRD weather... of course there are some important events as well like my mom's birthday and then there's another impt date that follows closely after. lots of things happened/is happening/will happen. like the fact that the STUPID army just posted me back into the technician course which i OUT OF COURSED from. and there are just some things which i REALLY wanna type it out for the world to see but if i do i'll get into SO much trouble it's not worth it. urgh army is just exceeding all my expectations. it pisses me off to NO END.
but i digress. the army is DEFINITELY not what i intended to blog about right now. i've been thinking... exactly how far removed are humans from their more primeval self? what makes humans different from animals? the ability to put our heads before our hearts? i'm just thinking... no one can be rational all the time. there are just times when ur instincts take over and u'll experience a very..... curious sensation.... i know this sounds so effed up and doesnt make sense at all but something happened not too long ago which brought me in contact with one of the strongest animal instinct there is aside from fight or flight. i never put much thought into how i felt at that point in time... but for a brief moment, i could feel how savage and untamed my emotions were before the rational brain over-rode the raw instincts. it's a very peculiar feeling...... to defend.....
it looks like i've made a mistake answering fabian and vernon's question all those years ago... when we were in hongkong.
- count from one to ten with my eyes closed.