i think it's pretty obvious that life in this horrendous island has taken a turn for the worse recently for me. just today i have a splitting headache from late morning till now and that's after 2 tablets of panadol. i'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the heat and glare of the afternoon sun as well as being stuck in a stuffy room with 60 other people for a few hours. i have no idea what will need to happen before the higher ups realize that i actually am unfit to train in such dangerous workshop conditions especially if my ability to focus and concentrate is severely impaired.

honestly, it is getting extremely tiring trying to make these dense imbeciles see things clearly. with each passing day it just seems like the chances of me getting taken out of the course and revocated to something that i actually would, dare i say, enjoy doing, is growing slimmer and slimmer. i could always try to get more specialist letters but the earliest appointment i can get is 6 august which means that i'd be more than halfway through the course by then. well, i guess i should see what happens with the asthma specialist this thursday, hopefully it doesnt do more harm than good. being so resentful and trying to go against these people has taken quite a toll on me cuz i seem to be feeling the side effects of my medication on a greater scale now compared to last time. well, i think it's time to pay yet another visit to the doctor there. urgh, it's so damn masochistic. it's like as if i actually enjoy going there to interact with someone who has serious issues with himself and is just being a stubborn insensitive bitch to everyone else to compensate for his pathetic self.

on the bright side, it's nice to know that no matter what kinda horrid crap the organisation hurls at me i'll always have a bunch of special people who i can turn to. i'm referring, of course, to my besties: xian jun, ian, xue hu and vernon. it's nice to have a bunch of friends who will listen to you bitch and bitch themselves too. i think the times where i truly laugh or smile is when we are all sitting together and cracking ridiculous jokes... being totally bitchy... and creating gruesome death scenarios for people like that noob doctor who has close to zero experience but has the guts to doubt the expertise of my dermatologist who is refused the privilege of retirement by SGH even though he is already past his retirement age. but i digress. besides from my close circle of friends, there exists one other individual as well. haha. dont you think that sometimes it's good to have someone can tolerate all ur nonsense when u're being a total asshole and still be the sweetest thing to you...? *sighs...*

- you lift my feet of the ground.