I've given considerable thought about this. Laid on the bed and thought about it, dragging my friends and boring them with it, it pops into my mind fleetingly even while I'm on the road. There is even an unfinished draft of my attempt to rationalize and argue it out like a GP essay. All in an effort to try to make sense of it. The only realisation that I've gotten from all these is that there simply isn't any logical explanation for it. It's simply illogical; irrational.

Try as I might, I fail to come up with any answers. Why am I so trapped between the lines? What masochistic streak in me enjoys being subjected to all those roller-coaster rides? What made me fall so hard? Why is it that every single mistake is forgiven? Why would I allow anyone to have that kind of leverage over me? How do I even know that it is real? Why? Why do I even care?

I know it is extremely bad writing to have one whole paragraph made of rhetorical questions. Ms. Ying can have my head on a platter. Then again, I'm not too sure they can be questions when I do not expect or look for answers.

I chanced upon a certain series of questions five minutes ago while clicking on links on the facebook pages of people from my past. Call it an epiphany if you will; possibilities aside, it is simply not necessary to find a reason for once.

That particular argumentative short that I wrote will remain unfinished; and perfectly so.

- it's like a dream, no end and no beginning.